Christmas Quotes

Let's be realistic, BOTH of my parents are hilarious! So, it is only necessary that I include quotes from my father in this posting as well. [Key: (H)=Hugh (R)=Rachael (A)=Amelia]


I don't actually recall why this was even brought up and who knows what our topic of conversation was actually about:
(H): Yeah, he got popped like Tupac.
(A): You are TOO old and TOO white to say things like that.


In reference to someone asking how to get to a small town in the California central valley:
(H): Go to Hell and then turn left.


My sister and I had Christmas Eve dinner at our house this year and my mom seemed slightly buzzed upon arrival. When we asked her about it later:
(R): I may, or may not, but definitely did have some wine in my Klean Kanteen.


In reference to the sheer volume of "That's What She Said" jokes made (by all of us) on Christmas morning:
(R): Stop it. You guys are sick. You ruin Christmas.


I told my dad to put the tub of beer under the awning of the patio so it wouldn't get rained on:
(H): What? Are you afraid that the outside of the can might get wet?


OF COURSE there were approximately 76,903 other hilarious comments from this holiday weekend, but these were ones that I either (1) thought were truly hilarious (2) remembered or (3) deemed appropriate(ish) to share.