Christmas Quotes

Let's be realistic, BOTH of my parents are hilarious! So, it is only necessary that I include quotes from my father in this posting as well. [Key: (H)=Hugh (R)=Rachael (A)=Amelia]


I don't actually recall why this was even brought up and who knows what our topic of conversation was actually about:
(H): Yeah, he got popped like Tupac.
(A): You are TOO old and TOO white to say things like that.


In reference to someone asking how to get to a small town in the California central valley:
(H): Go to Hell and then turn left.


My sister and I had Christmas Eve dinner at our house this year and my mom seemed slightly buzzed upon arrival. When we asked her about it later:
(R): I may, or may not, but definitely did have some wine in my Klean Kanteen.


In reference to the sheer volume of "That's What She Said" jokes made (by all of us) on Christmas morning:
(R): Stop it. You guys are sick. You ruin Christmas.


I told my dad to put the tub of beer under the awning of the patio so it wouldn't get rained on:
(H): What? Are you afraid that the outside of the can might get wet?


OF COURSE there were approximately 76,903 other hilarious comments from this holiday weekend, but these were ones that I either (1) thought were truly hilarious (2) remembered or (3) deemed appropriate(ish) to share.

Texts From My Mom

I love the website, Texts From Last Night. Frequently my mom sends me texts that have me busting up. This has prompted me to start sharing the hilarity. (She also just says really random and funny things, I will also be sharing those!) Here are her latest and greatest texts: [Key: (R)=Rachael (M)=Meghan]


(M): We are at Camp Richardson drinking rum runners! Life is good.
(R): Fun, I'm Kermit green with envy!


(R): Cleaning out the storage room- I must have been the crazy cat lady in my youth, found about 10 cat calendars from the 1970's


(R): Having a brownie for breakfast dessert, is that bad?


(R): At this insane time of year I have been trying to find joy in the simple pleasures, my latest: will & grace in the morning before work.